All Alone

I officially know it's summer, because I'm at home for a week with the boys without Shawn. He's speaking at the Oklahoma District Camp. I really hate to be without him, but it always gives me a chance to do those projects I've been putting off. I'm going to make the best of it. And now that my work schedule has changed and I'm getting off at 1:00 (I know, it's not much of a work schedule) I thought I could work on my tan at the pool with the boys in the afternoon.
Last week was VBS at our church. It was a blast. My job was photographer. What fun! I got to play all night with a camera while everyone else took care of the hundreds of kids. It made for late nights and late dinners, but was worth it.
Besides the pool this week, my big highlight will be Friday night when I get to see Shawn come home and also I get to play softball at 9:00! I hope we do better than we did last time (loosing by one point is never fun). Another one of my joys will be packing, which is not a joy at all. Although, it is a whole lot better than unpacking which is on my list of things to do NEVER! Shawn gets home Friday...Saturday, we will meet his parents so they can take the boys on a week long adventure while we get ready to leave Monday for Gulf Shores for our "Engulfed Youth Camp". I am praying for safety, fun, sun, and for God to fall on the youth and that they would be challenged. Then we'll drive back to Arkansas Friday (20th) and then leave the next day to drive to Tennessee to spend a few days with the Gray Family. I am really looking forward to that time. We'll get to hang with Shawn's sister and her family who will be moving to Orlando very soon to a brand new ministry position. We are all excited for them and are praying for them to have a smooooooth transition.
That's pretty much me in a nutshell lately. Love to you all!

Videos?

I'm going to take a stab at posting some videos. These were all taken with my phone so the quality is pretty poor, but you get the idea.

I took this one of Ashton last night in the tub. He has his "own style" of shaving. And yes, that is a direct quote.

Here's one of my favorite things to look at. This is Landon pigging out on some Chilie's Baby Back Ribs. He never stops chewing!

Here's one of the boys singing...if you can call it that. Oh, and playing instruments.

No Regrets

I'm feeling the pressure today. I've been challenged...challenged by God. I've got to step up my game, get off the bench and without sounding too much like High School Musical-I've got to get my head in the game!

Let me explain. Last night at church Shawn and I got to talk to a young girl about living with no regrets. Regrets never go away, they can stay with you forever. She was very responsive and we hope she took our words to heart. I guess I needed to hear my own words. Of course talking to a teenager, my mind was only on teenage regrets.

Then today, I get on my computer at work and find in my email a daily devotional and something caught my eye...
Today's Truth
"She watches over the affairs of her household..." (Proverbs 31:27 NIV).

I felt my heart strings being pulled ever so slightly. So I read on...
I have always seen a mother as a lighthouse, or beacon in a child's life. Think about it. A beacon is a landmark that her children can always count on. She shines the light of Christ at night and she serves as a landmark by day. She is watching out over the sea of faces to protect her tiny fleet. Like the Proverbs 31 woman she "watches over the ways of her household." She is present. She's available. And she's on guard.

The last couple of weeks have been the toughest mothering I've experienced so far. I know, I know all you mothers of teenagers...it's only going to get harder. But before I go into complete depression, I have to deal with the present before I get completely freaked out about the future.

Lately, I've seen such a rebellion in one of my sons and it scares me all the way to my toes. Disrespect doesn't begin to describe what I've been witnessing. It's like I'm watching a spiritual battle take place and my son is the battlefield. It's not very easy to watch. I've found myself sobbing at his bedside at night just because he looked so peaceful and I hadn't seen him look like that in a while. I prayed like crazy. Shawn and I are always trying to think of things we can do differently to help our children. I know, we have a huge roll to play in his life, but I also know that I am not in control of him, that only God is. Right now there is nothing we could tweak to make this better for him. This was on God. But, you know, what I learned this week (which I thought I already knew) was that God wants control of our kids. I hold on to them so tight that I leave no room for God to do anything. He was telling me, " He is my son, not yours. Let me take care of him!" So I did. I backed off, and let God move in. What a difference. I felt that I was loosing him already, but little did I know, that I had to give him away to gain him back!

My hands were busy through the day.
I didn't have much time to play
The little games you asked me to,
I didn't have much time for you.

I'd wash your clothes.
I'd sew and cook,
But when you'd bring your picture book
And asked me please to share your fun,
I'd say, "A little later son."

I'd tuck you in all safe at night
And hear your prayers, turn out the light,
Then tiptoe softly to the door...
I wish I'd stayed a minute more.

For life is short, the years rush past.
A little boy grows up so fast.
No longer is he at your side,
His precious secrets to confide.

The picture books are put away,
There are no longer games to play.
No good-night kisses, no prayers to hear,
That all belongs to yesteryear.

My hands once busy, now are still
The days are long and hard to fill.
I wish I could go back and do
The little things you asked me to.
(Author Unknown)I

(I'm sorry this is so long, and if you've made it this far, I'm almost done, I promise. I probably wouldn't have read any ones blog if it was this long.)

So, I want to live as a mother, with no regrets. I want to be that lighthouse, on guard, at my post, watching over my family. But I've learned the best way to do this is on my knees. Thank you God for teaching me, for not giving up on me even when I do stupid things and try to take your place. Please forgive me for all the years I've been parenting and I haven't let you parent them at all. I love you! Thank you for loving me and my family as much as you do!

Current Stuff

Yesterday we had a youth fundraiser (a youth pastor's favorite thing in the world to do). This one was actually pretty cool, and easy. A local restaurant, Due Amici, an Italian eatery came to us with an idea and we jumped on it. Yesterday after church the students got to serve the tables and 10% of the sales and all tips went towards youth camp. This also provided some publicity for the fairly new restaurant.

Andy getting the first order.

Tyler helping Andy with the big table. They all did such a great job, especially since they're all too young yet to have their own jobs.

Haley and Brittney making drinks. (Landon had my phone right before I took this pic and I think his little buttery fingers got on the lens...that's why it's so hazy)

With a clean lens...here are the Pastor and some of the board members showing their support. I love that no matter how old you get, there's always a girl side and a boy side.

Brian and Melissa with their happy server, Kelsea.

About two weeks ago I took the boys to our favorite park in Hot Springs

Ashton and Landon on the rope pyramid. It was such a beautiful day.

Ashton on top of the pyramid..."Hurry Mom, take my picture!"

After playing we went for a hike and their little boy eyes were on the look out for caterpillars. Landon was the first to find one. He loved it and took care of it all day. It even made it all the way home with us and then we had to let it outside so it could eat.

Ashton did finally find one of his own, with his brothers help. They were so excited!

We had such a good time together at the park while Daddy was at a boring meeting. We thought about going and rescuing him, but we didn't want to get him in trouble.

I love my boys and am so thankful for days like that Saturday. As they get older those days will be harder to find. I'm soaking it all up while I can. I tell them they will always be my babies, and let me tell you, they do not like to hear that. It always makes them laugh though. I am praying that God keeps a hold of them so tight; that He will protect them; be real to them and keep them close to him through the years to come.